Archive for Sports

Alyson Footer, Take a Walk!

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , , , , on July 29, 2008 by Astropolithecus


 Before I begin rantastic ravings, I’d like to point out beckeesh’s good call on the Brandon Backe game in the last post. Backe wasn’t responsible for all six, but the final was 6-4 brew crew. Interesting. 

  Now, though I’m not for homers with rose colored glasses working the press beat for the Astros, I AM for Footer either cheering up and getting off her high horse, or getting the hell out of writing for the Astros on the official website.  She’s either organically become a bitter person, has been slighted by the organization (anyone heard anything?), or has some agenda against the team.

  As I remember, her columns and observations used to be enjoyable, two years ago, but now it’s doom, gloom, sneers, and, oh my god, Footer, are you pouting? What the hell kind of team writer are you? Here’s an idea: look on the bright side, maybe once a season? Jesus!

  She not only undermines the good intentions and efforts of players and managers, (Ed Wade, Hunter Pence, Tejada, Valverde), she insults her readers with a smug attitude I find insufferable.   

  So Ms. Footer, here’s my smug response to all of your sighing, windy, dismissive “Mailbags”.   A team reporter’s job, it seems to me, is to provide accurate, accessible, and slightly biased reports towards the team in question. If you doubt your team’s character, management, and ability, do so in a way that does not crush the hope of the fan base. OF COURSE the Astros probably aren’t doing a damn thing this season, but that is not the point or spirit of baseball!  A fan’s job is to understand that their team is finished clinically, logically, but to harbor that fever of that possible impossible comeback in the deep of their chest. Kids read this website lady, and they pull for the team no matter the odds! They love the anticipation of the possibility.  And no team has earned more of a right for this ridiculous hope from the fans than the Houston Astros. Or have you all, Houston writers, completely forgotten about the thrilling Cardinals chase two years ago, or the “Gravestone World Series” before that? We pay a lot of good money for our irrationality. Respect that.

  And be grateful our new GM plays to win. Forget the farm system.  A good draft helps restore it every time, and last time I checked we still have a lot of ammunition down  there in Corpus and Round Rock. I love that Wade plays to win, and plays for the now, even if it is illogical! Or would you all like to rebuild for the next eight years, a la the Brew Crew, Royals, and A’s? Hey, know what’s worse than getting swept by the Pirates?  Trading Pence before the deadline to the Red Sox for two “highly touted” AA prospects. That would be boring and sad. Period.  I love the Wolf deal. It’s low risk and balls at the same time. 

Ms. Footer, you write for the fans. It is a privilege. Treat it as such. And THAT means NOT talking down to them during your mailbag column. Respect our intellect and our irrational optimism. It’s your job. You ain’t writin’ for the Washington Post. Please stop being so dry.  Let reading the website become enjoyable again. 

  Rediscover the fun, Ms. Footer, or take a vacation.

Alright Real Astros Fans, This is Our Forum!

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , on May 20, 2008 by Astropolithecus

I live in Chicago. I am not a Cubs fan.  Yet all I hear about on the radio is the Cubs. There’s analysis, chatter,  radio shows, columns, and blogs freakin’ galore about those treasured national losers, the Chicago Cubs.  And as much as I get tired of their whiny ‘excuse me’ GM and their fan’s maudlin passion for this overall leaderless team, I admire the coverage. The Cubs coverage. This Cubsverage, if you will, is national, in depth, impassioned, self deprecating, interesting, and wholly tasty to dive into, to sample the varieties and flavors of the jaded and the maniacal in ‘cubbie’ blue. The coverage is excellent and full of love.  But I am not a cubs fan.

                    I AM AN ASTROS FAN.  My good friend, disastros, IS AN ASTROS FAN. 

And we’re tired of being overshadowed. Tired of those nationally scattered Astros fans having to sit through relentless Giants, Cubs, White Sox, Yankees, Mets, and even Nationals analysis to get a wink of love or analysis of our beloved Astros. Those in Houston may begin to love this blog. I hope they do. But they don’t need us. Not like those of us in the rest of the country, even the world, who have to rely on freakin’ USA Today to even get a lousy game summary. This hideous standard ends here.

  No more USA Today, fans of the shooting star.  We will hit the real interests right here. Disastros and I will scream, rave, love, idolize, take suggestions and angry criticism, and open a real world for those die hard Astros fans dying to share their opinions insights and frustrations. But we’re behind, ladies and gentleman. We have to do more than just talk and write.  We have to create nicknames! Start other blogs! Attack the idiocy in the organization! create t-shirts and movements! End Tal’s Hill with thousands of complaints to Tal himself! We hate Tal’s Hill! Am I right? Let me hear you! Roar it with me:    “La Guagua!” Shout it! “La Guagua!” Scream it louder if you know how to actually make the upside down exclamation point!

  More later. More soon. To preview our first official blog, the fiery disastros will analyze and take apart yet ANOTHER great Jim Edmonds catch, and his sour legacy against the Astros and the sport.

                    5 and 7 Will Get You To Heaven,