What Floozie Gave the Giants Our Number?

I don’t remember ever wanting a date with Bochy.

Still, someone gave the damn San Fran hippies our number, and they have steamed rolled since we opened Enronit Maid Park.

One four game sweep in 2008 against them does not make up for the brutal beat down they constantly unleash on our unimpressive  band of sandlotters.

Ringing doubles at perfect times, Koufax like pitching performances, and broken bat grand slams rule the day for these punks.

In fact, not only do we give them our number, but they treat us like loose women, slamming us all week, and then abruptly blowing town.

And, you better believe it, they can’t wait to come to town next year.

They are the only team the Astros play whom I would GLADLY play six games against in their own park.

I hope I have conveyed the dread I feel when ever I hear the Giants are rolling into town.  I knew this season would start with a dead thud.

But Astros fans, don’t transfer that dread to the rest of the season JUST yet.  Yes, we looked like a bunch of losers this week, and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Carlos, Matsui, and Pence look worse in a series. We were also making all the same damn mistakes we made all last season, to an amazing degree of specificity, and that’s scary. Granted, I’m as  terrified as you we’ll give the Nationals a run for their money in futility, but don’t give up yet fair Astros fans. You deserve better, and I have this weird feeling the Astros might indulge us in some hot playing this year. I absolutely mean it. And before you laugh me off, remember I called Duke over Butler on two of my four NCAA brackets this season. I do have a modicum of gypsy blood.

What I’m saying is, give the guys, and these are mostly good, hard players, a chance to warm up first.

At least they got the annual slaughtering by the Giants over with right away this season.

Just next time they come to town, let’s make them buy us dinner first.

Berkmaniac

It’s a Long, Long, Long, Long Road Trip

 

Aretha says it baby. “It’s  a heartache.”  That’s an Astros road trip all over. Especially to St. Louis.  Need I bring up the rally killed by a pick off at first in 2000, or countless Jim Edmonds dive bomb catches, or the endless dreary cold Missouri nights mediocre pitchers like Jason Marquis shut us down like Sandy Koufax?  The fact we won in boring fashion in game 1 of this series is no small triumph.  So if we can bring back some World Series clinching magic, and actually win a series in St. Louis tonight I’ll be happy.    And there’s my point. Even when we win in St. Louis. Even when we clinch our first and only World Series berth in our history, what clip do we most often see from the 2005 NLCS? It’s the damn Pujols game winning three run homer in Houston.  Not the Jason Lane (remember him?) catch that clinched, or the Roy Oswalt screwdriver strikeout of Pujols in game 7 in  ugly Busch stadium. Always the Pujols shot. What about the historic double play? “They’re not going to turn two, or are they?” Look up this Joe Buck call. It’s worth another listen my friends. 

So, hopefully, this postseason, we’ll create our own memorable home run, or game winning single ala Luis Gonzalez, and make the Highlight Reel of the Ages.

Prediction: If we win each road series this late May trip, we’ll return home in first place.

                            Sending Oswalt the Karma,

                                 Berkmaniac