Archive for playoffs

Split Personality

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , , , , on September 18, 2008 by beckeesh

Y’all, we’re done.

I don’t have to check ESPN’s playoff percentage points to tell you that.  If you’ve watched us play at ALL in the last three days, then you know.

Hey, it’s not our year.  We didn’t think it would be. It’s not like we got our hopes up.  It’s not like it was thrilling to sweep the Cubs at Wrigley.  It’s not like we got caught up in the excitement of appearing on Baseball Tonight before the 25 minute mark.  It’s not like we were bidding on Cooperstown Collection ‘Stros jerseys on ebay so that we could wear clean gear for every day of the playoff push…

Of course we didn’t and we weren’t and so we aren’t surprised, are we?

We’re the disastros.  We do this.

So turn off your TV.  Kaz Matsui will NOT save us from our current 9-2 deficit against the Fish.  And Ty Wigginton looks just like he used to, only he swings worse.  And Carlos isn’t around.

Wait – It’s 10-2 now, and the Marlins have the bases loaded?

Oh, OK, I turned the TV back on. Maybe I like watching Kaz strike out!  Maybe Wigginton’s swing is just the least bit alluring!

Ooh, and maybe the Mets, Phillies, and Brewers will all lose tonight.  Then we’ll only be three games back still, right?  Three games back with eleven to play.  That’s doable, right?

Oh dang, grand slam Cantu.

Wait – he’s on my fantasy team!

And Go ‘Stros!

“Off the Ledge, Tex.”

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , , , , , , on September 15, 2008 by Astropolithecus


    Alright, everybody back away from the hurricane shattered open window.  We got no-hit. Zambrano was aces.  Pence couldn’t drop a line drive into the gap. Big Whoop. As losses go, this was one of the least stressful I’ve ever had to deal with as a fan. Seriously.

    First, it was clear that Zambrano was sick after the second inning.  Not sick in the head, per usual, but dirty bomb filthy.  Second, the Astros had experienced an atomic storm all their own, before they even faced the baby blue bull.  Their freakin’ victory today was actually flying out of Houston.  I bet it felt like The Twilight Zone as they looked down upon burning refineries on their way to play a game at “Wrigley North”. Dudes came out of the clubhouse like a limp pickle. Of course they did. I’ve never felt more calm.  Our starter and line up were flat distracted. Duh! They’re just guys dealing with extraordinary shit. None of them currently have power, and they won’t know what’s going to happen to their families in person because they are on the road for another week. That’ll take your mind off the game for a night.

No excuses. ‘Stros didn’t execute. Couldn’t catch up with the heater.  So what? We gained a half game! Two out! We’re two out! Bet that’s the first no-hitter that accomplished that!   

Got a feelin’ the Stros have a few more axes to grind tomorrow. Bet they’re refocused now. Maybe Lilly will be in the path of his own storm.  Our boys don’t get mad, they get even, a la Brad Ausmus vs. Kyle Farnsworth , a la Berkman unloading on Springer. A la Oswalt.   I predict an Astros win tomorrow. 1:05 Central.  Bring it on. 

I did hear Theriot’s basement flooded because of those little rainy storms here.  Boy, I don’t know how those Cubs can suit up every day.

Fans, no big deal. We weren’t winning this game. Period.  We just lost on a historic night.

Still don’t feel consoled? The whole country knows we got a raw deal, and they know the Astros are handling it with grace.  Cubs fans probably feel a little defensive about this Zam no-no, because of the surrounding situations.  That can’t be comfortable.  But the Houston Astros coming through a post-hurricane no hitter to reach the playoffs?! That would be one of the best baseball stories of all time. And I’ve got a feeling it will be.

STILL don’t feel better? Here are some actual Astros players from a 1994 Sega Genesis game lineup:

     {-Brian Hunter, Derek Bell, Derrick May, Rick Gutierrez, Anthony Young, Jeff Tobaka, and Mike Simms-}

Glad you’re not watching that team? Me too!!!

Remember, we, in recent history to be fair, have always played like Biggio and Bagwell. Class and talent gold standards. The Cubs? Their recent stars are Sosa , sorry, and Soriano, a man who once didn’t take the field cause he DIDN’T LIKE his position. Awww.  Their only real class acts are Lee and Theriot. Let them have a deserved walk in the sun. The Zambino machine was a stud.

I’M the one who lives in Chicago, and will have to deal with this garbage all day tomorrow.  Don’t bother me.  Think I’ll wear my Astros cap at work. 


 Texas made it through the hurricane, and it wasn’t as hideous as was feared. A Katrina hasn’t developed. Texas can rebuild, with a mighty effort, quickly.  And maybe they can watch the good guys from Houston win it all while they do so. It’s possible. Feel better.