Archive for Miller Park

The Brewers Don’t Have Stars on Thars

Posted in Astros rivals, Houston Astros with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 23, 2011 by Astropolithecus

Okay , Houston happies, I officially hate Miller Park. It’s like a satire of Minute Maid Park. “If Houston was good, they would play here..”

Also, always, ALWAYS, Houston seems lost here. “Where are we?” they utter as they stumble around, “Oh, this isn’t our park, oh, but it was our park against the Cubs once, we got no hits, oh no, now we’re scared and confused…”  and then they wander about the field until they lose, like loveable penguins that forgot which way to go on the ice, and then fall over.

Miller Park is a crap hole, it’s dumb and I hate it. Waaah.

How does Houston respond to their first series win, their first back to back wins?  They give up 23 runs the next two games. Atta boy, fellas, that’ll strike the fear of god into our road opponents.

We can still win the series, though. And Michael Bourn is on a tear. Our offense overall is looking okay. All is not lost.

The ‘Stros just always lose at Miller Park. And Citifield. And every park in California. But they haven’t lost in Montreal in years.

I miss the Expos. Sigh. I’m gonna go watch the 12-2 Cub beat down highlights now.

Schadenfreude,

Astropolithecus

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Complete Bull

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , , , , , on September 14, 2008 by beckeesh

Bud Selig’s office, in conjunction with Drayton McLane, have moved two of our three scheduled games against the Cubs to Wrigley North, er, Miller Park.  According to Uncle Drayton, this is being done out of respect for Houston fans who are undergoing hardship in the wake of Hurricane Ike.

Just goes to show you, rich people rarely know what the rest of us want.

We want to WIN.

We want the opportunity to brave flooded streets and fork over $6.50 a beer to cheer for our team.  “Go ‘Stros!” we’d shout in one of the only places in town with A/C.

But no, the team is fleeing the scene. Oops, I mean, escaping town.  Oops, I mean, leaving a disaster zone in a slightly hurried way.

Lance, la Guagua, Roy-O and co. are headed north to play a “home” game in front of 30,000 Cubs fans.   Oh, and plenty of Brewers fans.  (Which side will they be on?) 

Meanwhile, back in Houston, ‘Stros fans will, if they’re lucky, tune in the radio to hear Brett Dolan’s play by play.  (I’ll save further comment on that for another post.)

Since I’m not in Houston, I’ll be watching via satellite, saving choice and important words for our owner, who better be sitting front row center.

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Update:  If you want to get even angrier, or more depressed, please visit the Cubs and Brewers mlb message boards.  Those witty Cubs fans are promising to teach those horrible Brewers fans the words to that absolutely awful song, “Go Cubs, Go.” 

This reminds me, since we are the home team, will “Deep in the Heart of Texas” be sung during the seventh inning stretch?  Yes, imagine how ridiculous it would be.  Yes, imagine how utterly ridiculous it will be to see the Astros wearing white jerseys beneath a sea of blue.