Archive for Hurricane Ike

Damn You, Law of Averages!!

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , , , on September 18, 2008 by Cabeza De Vaca

Goodbye six game winning streak, hello four game losing streak. A .600 winning percentage ain’t bad, but it’s sure not what it looked like we had going before Ike washed all our mojo away. Goodbye .305 team batting average, hello .092 team batting average. Goodbye 32 1/3 scoreless innings, hello four run first. Wait, back up, we’re hitting .092??!! Over four games??!! Okay, things will get better over the remaining games. Things CAN’T stay like this.

Chances are, we aren’t going to make the playoffs, but heck, is this a team that deserves to go to the playoffs? We’ll finish with a winning record, which is pretty darn impressive for a team that had to trot Runelvys Hernandez onto the bump more than once. Honestly, if this team does regain the magic to make the playoffs, I’ll be overwhelmed, overjoyed, and also a bit worried about the validation that would provide to the tactics of Ed Wade and Drayton McLane (more on that next time).

The law of averages catches up to a team like this, to guys like Brian Moehler, Randy Wolf, Darin Erstad and Geoff Blum. It was fun while it lasted, but now it’s time to salute a group that didn’t quit after being in last place at the All Star break. These guys are winners.

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“Off the Ledge, Tex.”

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , , , , , , on September 15, 2008 by Astropolithecus

 

    Alright, everybody back away from the hurricane shattered open window.  We got no-hit. Zambrano was aces.  Pence couldn’t drop a line drive into the gap. Big Whoop. As losses go, this was one of the least stressful I’ve ever had to deal with as a fan. Seriously.

    First, it was clear that Zambrano was sick after the second inning.  Not sick in the head, per usual, but dirty bomb filthy.  Second, the Astros had experienced an atomic storm all their own, before they even faced the baby blue bull.  Their freakin’ victory today was actually flying out of Houston.  I bet it felt like The Twilight Zone as they looked down upon burning refineries on their way to play a game at “Wrigley North”. Dudes came out of the clubhouse like a limp pickle. Of course they did. I’ve never felt more calm.  Our starter and line up were flat distracted. Duh! They’re just guys dealing with extraordinary shit. None of them currently have power, and they won’t know what’s going to happen to their families in person because they are on the road for another week. That’ll take your mind off the game for a night.

No excuses. ‘Stros didn’t execute. Couldn’t catch up with the heater.  So what? We gained a half game! Two out! We’re two out! Bet that’s the first no-hitter that accomplished that!   

Got a feelin’ the Stros have a few more axes to grind tomorrow. Bet they’re refocused now. Maybe Lilly will be in the path of his own storm.  Our boys don’t get mad, they get even, a la Brad Ausmus vs. Kyle Farnsworth , a la Berkman unloading on Springer. A la Oswalt.   I predict an Astros win tomorrow. 1:05 Central.  Bring it on. 

I did hear Theriot’s basement flooded because of those little rainy storms here.  Boy, I don’t know how those Cubs can suit up every day.

Fans, no big deal. We weren’t winning this game. Period.  We just lost on a historic night.

Still don’t feel consoled? The whole country knows we got a raw deal, and they know the Astros are handling it with grace.  Cubs fans probably feel a little defensive about this Zam no-no, because of the surrounding situations.  That can’t be comfortable.  But the Houston Astros coming through a post-hurricane no hitter to reach the playoffs?! That would be one of the best baseball stories of all time. And I’ve got a feeling it will be.

STILL don’t feel better? Here are some actual Astros players from a 1994 Sega Genesis game lineup:

     {-Brian Hunter, Derek Bell, Derrick May, Rick Gutierrez, Anthony Young, Jeff Tobaka, and Mike Simms-}

Glad you’re not watching that team? Me too!!!

Remember, we, in recent history to be fair, have always played like Biggio and Bagwell. Class and talent gold standards. The Cubs? Their recent stars are Sosa , sorry, and Soriano, a man who once didn’t take the field cause he DIDN’T LIKE his position. Awww.  Their only real class acts are Lee and Theriot. Let them have a deserved walk in the sun. The Zambino machine was a stud.

I’M the one who lives in Chicago, and will have to deal with this garbage all day tomorrow.  Don’t bother me.  Think I’ll wear my Astros cap at work. 

STILL DON’T FEEL BETTER?!

 Texas made it through the hurricane, and it wasn’t as hideous as was feared. A Katrina hasn’t developed. Texas can rebuild, with a mighty effort, quickly.  And maybe they can watch the good guys from Houston win it all while they do so. It’s possible. Feel better.

Complete Bull

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , , , , , on September 14, 2008 by beckeesh

Bud Selig’s office, in conjunction with Drayton McLane, have moved two of our three scheduled games against the Cubs to Wrigley North, er, Miller Park.  According to Uncle Drayton, this is being done out of respect for Houston fans who are undergoing hardship in the wake of Hurricane Ike.

Just goes to show you, rich people rarely know what the rest of us want.

We want to WIN.

We want the opportunity to brave flooded streets and fork over $6.50 a beer to cheer for our team.  “Go ‘Stros!” we’d shout in one of the only places in town with A/C.

But no, the team is fleeing the scene. Oops, I mean, escaping town.  Oops, I mean, leaving a disaster zone in a slightly hurried way.

Lance, la Guagua, Roy-O and co. are headed north to play a “home” game in front of 30,000 Cubs fans.   Oh, and plenty of Brewers fans.  (Which side will they be on?) 

Meanwhile, back in Houston, ‘Stros fans will, if they’re lucky, tune in the radio to hear Brett Dolan’s play by play.  (I’ll save further comment on that for another post.)

Since I’m not in Houston, I’ll be watching via satellite, saving choice and important words for our owner, who better be sitting front row center.

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Update:  If you want to get even angrier, or more depressed, please visit the Cubs and Brewers mlb message boards.  Those witty Cubs fans are promising to teach those horrible Brewers fans the words to that absolutely awful song, “Go Cubs, Go.” 

This reminds me, since we are the home team, will “Deep in the Heart of Texas” be sung during the seventh inning stretch?  Yes, imagine how ridiculous it would be.  Yes, imagine how utterly ridiculous it will be to see the Astros wearing white jerseys beneath a sea of blue.