Archive for April, 2010


Posted in Houston Astros on April 28, 2010 by beckeesh

We’re playing the Reds and we’re not winning anymore.

At least we have JD and Brownie?

At most we have JD and Brownie?

We win again?!

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , on April 21, 2010 by beckeesh

I’m willing to give all the credit to the one-two punch of…

(get ready because I’m not being sarcastic)

Matt Lindstrom and Jason Michaels.

Tell me I’m wrong, people.

Astros win! Astros win again!!


Posted in Uncategorized on April 16, 2010 by beckeesh

In 1983…

Cabbage Patch Kids were invented.

Hurricane Alicia hit the Texas gulf coast.

The Baltimore Orioles won the World Series (and haven’t done it since).

Terms of Endearment won Best Picture.

A congressional sex-scandal broke in Washington.

Thriller was number one.

The Astros started the season 0-9, but finished with 85 wins.


Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , , , , , , , on April 14, 2010 by Astropolithecus

Guys and girls, brave Astros fans, I think it’s time for Sean Berry to go.

This hideous performance by the offense is not his fault, the guys just look awful in all facets, and that’s no more Berry’s problem than it is my problem, but he still has to go.

The facts remain that this offense, who I truly believe is better than they have almost ever appeared, has underachieved under Berry for a while.

Never have they hit on all cylinders together at the same time, and the hitting coach has to be the scapegoat for that.

I say all this with the caveat that I really like Sean Berry as a former player and coach.  Unfortunately, he has to go.

At the very least, fresh blood would stir up the dugout.

Hopefully, he could sign somewhere his style translates better.

Maybe the shame alone of getting a guy fired would improve the offense.

These are sad times, and I don’t say that just based off of this 0-8 start. Since the end of last year, our boys have looked lost.

Stay loyal dear fans, and stay patient.

Good Night and Good Luck, We May Need a Ton of It,


Good News

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , on April 9, 2010 by beckeesh

Y’all, I am tired this week.

Way more tired than the Astros, ahem, and I did my job!

Then today I read good news!

Oh, no, don’t get too excited.  As I post this, we are still losing to the Phillies.

I’m not talking about good results, people.  I said good news.

Bagwell will be joining Brownie and Deshaies on FSN on Saturdays?!

Good news!

Now if we could only get him into the dugout.  I’ve said it before: Bagwell for team manager!

What Floozie Gave the Giants Our Number?

Posted in Astros rivals, Houston Astros with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 7, 2010 by Astropolithecus

I don’t remember ever wanting a date with Bochy.

Still, someone gave the damn San Fran hippies our number, and they have steamed rolled since we opened Enronit Maid Park.

One four game sweep in 2008 against them does not make up for the brutal beat down they constantly unleash on our unimpressive  band of sandlotters.

Ringing doubles at perfect times, Koufax like pitching performances, and broken bat grand slams rule the day for these punks.

In fact, not only do we give them our number, but they treat us like loose women, slamming us all week, and then abruptly blowing town.

And, you better believe it, they can’t wait to come to town next year.

They are the only team the Astros play whom I would GLADLY play six games against in their own park.

I hope I have conveyed the dread I feel when ever I hear the Giants are rolling into town.  I knew this season would start with a dead thud.

But Astros fans, don’t transfer that dread to the rest of the season JUST yet.  Yes, we looked like a bunch of losers this week, and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Carlos, Matsui, and Pence look worse in a series. We were also making all the same damn mistakes we made all last season, to an amazing degree of specificity, and that’s scary. Granted, I’m as  terrified as you we’ll give the Nationals a run for their money in futility, but don’t give up yet fair Astros fans. You deserve better, and I have this weird feeling the Astros might indulge us in some hot playing this year. I absolutely mean it. And before you laugh me off, remember I called Duke over Butler on two of my four NCAA brackets this season. I do have a modicum of gypsy blood.

What I’m saying is, give the guys, and these are mostly good, hard players, a chance to warm up first.

At least they got the annual slaughtering by the Giants over with right away this season.

Just next time they come to town, let’s make them buy us dinner first.