Archive for August, 2009

Miguel Tejada: Current Stats

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , on August 5, 2009 by beckeesh

As was strongly expressed in my last article, Miguel Tejada is having an incredible season, one that is not being covered by,, or Alyson Footer’s blog.

I have been inspired by the monster stat provided by Berkmaniac as a response to my last column to put out there, for the record, some of Mr. Tejada’s crazy numbers.

Batting Average: .323, Fourth in NL

Hits: 139, First in NL, Second in MLB

Doubles: 33, First in NL

RBI: 63, Second among NL Shortstops

Runs Created: 64, Second among NL Shortstops

Games Played: 105, First among NL Shortstops

NOSGOR (Number of Spotlights Given or Received): Unknown, most likely First in NL, First in MLB

Have more?  Post them here!

Press Coverage is Pathetic!

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , , on August 4, 2009 by beckeesh

Inside the Astros press box, this week…

Brian McTaggert: Hey, Alyson.  Congrats on your move up the chain.  Hey, thanks for leaving an opening for me.  I’m lovin’ the beat!  Say, you said I could always ask you for advice about your old job.

Alyson Footer:  Yeah, yeah.  I’m editing a Puma mvid, so make it quick, Brian.

McTaggert:  Well, I want to do a story about veteran wisdom.  Who should I ask to give me a couple quotes on this topic?

Footer: You probably already have them.

McTaggert: Say what?  I’ve been watching the Buick Open all afternoon.  I don’t think I have anything!

Footer:  Yes you do.  Look through your notebook… er, memory.  Can’t you think of  a couple sentences said in the clubhouse or bullpen one time that involved veteran leadership?

McTaggert: Um… no.

Footer: Geez!  So, you want me to ask Brocail for you?

For your consideration:

Brocail enjoying role as Astros’ sage

Later in the week…

McTaggert: Alyson, you never mentioned how tough it is to follow the ‘Stros on the road.  Losing three out of four at Wrigley… It’s the pits!  I think RJ is right.

Footer:  Oh?

McTaggert: Yeah, it’s our “mediocre” defense up the middle.  I mean, if we could only get a middle infielder with heart.  Someone who makes incredible, off balance, barehanded throws from the hole seem routine.  Someone who could, say, chip in RBI after RBI while Hunter Pence strands the bases loaded for the twelfth out of twelve times this season.

Footer:  When you finish remind me to tell you what Berkman said to me earlier.

McTaggert:  Someone who players on and off the field constantly refer to as a veteran leader, a sparkplug.  Someone who Jeff Bagwell says he wishes he could’ve had the opportunity to play with.

Footer: You’re boring me.

McTaggert:  Yeah, you’re right.  You’re so right.  That’s why you get the big bucks.  That’s why Justice gets the big bucks.  That’s why I always come to you with questions about my job!  Could you help me, please?  Just one more time?

Footer:  He told a joke.

McTaggert:  What?

Footer:  Puma.  He told a joke… You know what?  Read about it on my blog.

McTaggert:  What about my column?

Footer:  Well, weren’t you all about veteran leadership last time we talked?

McTaggert:  Right!  Man!  Thanks, Alyson!  I shouldn’t be looking for Astros players that don’t exist!  I should be writing another article about a career .240 hitter who plays mediocre defense but happens to be 36 years old and a native English speaker!

For your consideration:

Experienced Blum valuable to Astros

There is stupid and there is blind.  I can’t decide if the Astros beat reporter, the Houston Chronicle columnists, and the Twitter person, are stupid or blind… But does it really matter?  Either way, reading the dribble that passes for Astros sports columns makes me want to bite through cement.

Suggestions for improvement:

1.  Hire only bilingual reporters.  By this I mean Spanish and English speaking reporters.  Having a Japanese speaker would be a great idea as well.  (Do I really have to point this out to you people?!)

2.  Ask these reporters to not ignore the best players on our team.

3.  Fire any reporters who are too willing to use nicknames that players have given themselves, who ignore on-field performance in favor of off-field cliches, who insult players who are doing a good job and kiss the ass of the owner and GM who aren’t doing a good job, or (my fave) anybody and everybody who has ever or will ever use a Bible verse in his columns.

4.  And my final suggestion for whomever is listening: Take some time, think of any other reasonable change that could be made to Astros press reporting (like having editors who correct spelling errors or writers who know baseball!!!) and then make that change.  And if you can’t think of anything, then call me or virtually any other Astros fan, at any time, for many, many valid ideas.  Hey, here’s something for you right now: Write. An. Article. About. Miguel. Tejada. Who. Has. 8. RBIs. In. The. Last. 7. Games.

Disastrology Predicts. Done.

Posted in Houston Astros with tags , , , , on August 1, 2009 by Astropolithecus

Maybe it’s just because I’m tired, but these boys are done.

Barring a miracle, The Astros have proven that with a little adversity, they crumple like a cheap cardboard cup. And Wandy is hurt now? Forget it.

We’re 5 1/2 out, and I hope I can eat these words, I’d love to, but the Astros are done.

Hate to be the negative poster, but there it is.  Here’s to the off season.