Positive Thing Happens, but Astros Lose

[Other Team] [X], Astros [<X]

[Other Team] at the plate: [City] got it going early with four runs on three hits and two walks in the first inning. [Mediocre outfielder] highlighted the early scoring with a bases-clearing double. [Bench player] also had a big day with three hits, including a three-run home run in the 7th inning for the [other team].

Astros at the plate: [Player who will end up in Triple-A] continued to make his case, going 2 for 3, with two doubles. [Major-league outfielder] made solid progress with an infield hit, a stolen base, and a run scored to get the Astros on the board in the 7th inning.

[Other Team] on the mound: Starting pitcher, [Fifth Starter], pitched three scoreless innings, allowing one hit and striking out one. [Middle Reliever] gave up three runs in two innings. In seven innings this Spring, [Middle Reliever] has given up eight earned runs.

Astros on the mound: Right-hander [Starting pitcher] gave up six runs in two innings. [Another starting pitcher] pitched 1 full inning of work, but had to leave the game with a strained ribcage after walking the bases loaded in the fourth. However , [relief pitcher] pitched three scoreless innings of relief.

4 Responses to “Positive Thing Happens, but Astros Lose”

  1. beckeesh Says:

    This is so dead-on!! This is actually the most genius post ever.

    Can I play?

    “[Player who will end up in triple-A] has shown spunk. We like what we see from the kid.” Cooper said after the game.

    “I just try to go out there and show them what I can do and, hey who knows?” [Player who will end up in triple-A] responded.

    Meanwhile, [fifth starter] is making progress in the cage, throwing 25 pitches. “Doing good,” Dewey Robinson says of his progress. “I felt good,” [fifth starter] concurred.

    The Astros travel to [Florida town] to take on [superior team] tomorrow.

    That was so fun! I think everyone should try this!!!

  2. So, based on our spring training results, I foresee us going about 10-152.

    That might be a bit optimistic, but we do get to play the Royals this year.

    Although, let’s be honest, even Royals fans can look down on us.

  3. berkmaniac Says:

    This is a very funny post, AND I’m impressed with the Oswalt photo post. How’d you set that up?

    • Cabeza De Vaca Says:

      The Roy thing is a screen capture of the Astros website. Astros.com is hilarious. I love to get my Astros propaganda… er… news from them.

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