Frack! Sorry I’m late to spring training.
I’m sorry I’m so late to spring training. I had no idea it had even started. I must have had the times wrong. I’ve been hanging out in Panama, drinking guava daiquiris. Lee told me the report date was toda- hey, where’s Randy Wolf?
Anyway, I’m like totally sorry.
Um, Why does Miggy’s locker have yellow tape wrapped around it?
Berkman’s not sulking-I’m getting really frackin’ freaked out –??!! Holy crap, who’s the old guy with a beard and taped wrapped all around his torso?! Is he pitching, is he a new pitching coach?! No one told me-WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
Whoa, Baseball Projection ranked us where?
No, I just can’t do this right now, no , just, just STOP!! Look, I’m gonna grab some brunch with M-Lo and my new boy T-Hall to settle my stomach. I’ll see you guys at Brad A’s annual spring meeting where he roasts all the new young free agents. At least that’ll cheer me up.