Frack! Sorry I’m late to spring training.


 I’m sorry I’m so late to spring training.  I had no idea it had even started. I must have had the times wrong. I’ve been hanging out in Panama, drinking guava daiquiris. Lee told me the report date was toda- hey, where’s Randy Wolf?

Anyway, I’m like totally sorry.

Um, Why does Miggy’s locker have yellow tape wrapped around it?

Berkman’s not sulking-I’m getting really frackin’ freaked  out –??!! Holy crap, who’s the old guy with a beard and taped wrapped all  around his torso?! Is he pitching, is he a new pitching coach?! No one told me-WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

 Whoa, Baseball Projection ranked us where?

No, I just can’t do this right now, no , just, just STOP!!     Look, I’m gonna grab some brunch with M-Lo and my new boy T-Hall to settle my stomach. I’ll see you guys at  Brad A’s annual spring meeting where he roasts all the new young free agents. At least that’ll cheer me up.  



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